In rare winter sunlight I seize my chance to shoot pickups. Trouble is, the patron saint of Paisley, St. Mirin, is stranded on a traffic island at the intersection of Incle Street, Gauze Street and the Glasgow Road. Standing a camera in the centre of five lanes of brisk traffic in search of a viable angle means risking my neck.

The statue, unveiled in 2007, looks deceptively old, as does the sandstone plinth it stands on, inscribed with…